when you left me.. ..all alone
Double dribble - Why? because I'm black
Yeah, that's what I thought
on my own tell me and tell me, whatcha gonna do?
tell me pretty baby because I'm still in love with you
come back (baby) come back (won't you come back to me)
come back (baby) come back
Ten seconds left Come on! we need a basket
Play one Play one
Kurt, Kurt, Kurt Here
Bring it in
Banks open Lenny
Great hoop
His foot was on the line
First off, I'd like to thank the Earnshaw family for...
Lending us their beautiful lake house to help us celebrate our victory
Yeah! the Fernando five is Dyn-o-mite!
You're drunk Dad - Yeah
Hey, we're here to celebrate the kids shots, not your shots
Anyway, I want to talk about what you kids did this afternoon
You know, you played the game just like I always asked you to
You left everything you had out there on that court
So when the final buzzer went off
You were champions
I want you to promise me something
I want you to play life just like you played that game today
So when that final buzzer of life goes off
You'll have no regrets
Here's to coach
You're my first champions my first champions
Stick together
time to die!
I am the biggest agent in Hollywood and you just pissed me off!
and now I'll pull Brad pitt from your movie
I'll pull Julia Roberts from your movie! I don't care Sandy
That's right. You better back down
Thank you
Have a good Fourth of July all right, love you too
What's up boys?
Hey!
Greggy, Keithie
You guys ever hear of a game called chutes and ladders?
Pretty awesome game
I used to play it when I was a kid
What it is, is... they give you a spinner
and you spin. If you land on a ladder
You get to climb up the ladder. If you land on a chute
you got to slide down the chute and start all over again
Yeah what happens? The winner gets a training bra?
Yeah dad, that game sounds like it sucks
No, I'm telling you. This is like the greatest game.
Me and my buddies would play it on a winter day.
We'd go down to the basement and drink hot chocolate
I wouldn't mind a hot chocolate right now
Hey Rita!
Rita!
Dude you gotta text her She's doing laundry
Hey Dad, we went to Spielbergs' house yesterday
They have a 150" TV
Could we get one of those?
You know what? When you direct E.T. I'll get you one of those
Beg for mercy
What is the object here? I don't get it
You're on a cruise ship and...and you
chop peoples heads off with a chainsaw? - Oh!, and you can drown them
Oh, you can drown them. Okay, now I get it
Ahhhhh!!
Granny overboard!
Can somebody answer the phone?
Maybe I should get some chamomile for my throat too.
Would you stop texting the Nanny!
Do you know how gross that is for a kid to text his Nanny?
Just go walk down the hallway! - Why? you text everybody!
I text people for my job!
So I can make money to pay for your texting!
Okay, I got everything for you boys - Who was that on the phone Rita?
I'm sorry Mr. Feder I don't know Becky answered
Okay okay thanks for making the...
Oh my god Rita! This isn't Godiva
What are you trying to poison me? - Oh...umm
Good lord, go back to texting
I don't ever want to hear that out loud again
What the heck's going on out here?
Oh my god
I didn't mean to It was an accident
I don't care. Are you all right? What the heck were you doing?
I was trying to use the navy - The navy? what's the navy?
The navy in the car to ask it a question
You mean the navigation system Idiot
Shhh... Keithie, relax
Some man called. He said your friend Coach Buzzer went to heaven
I was trying to find heaven for you on the navy station
so you could go visit him
yikes
Who's your friend Dad?
Coach Buzzer was someone very special in Daddy's life
It's terrible
Ok... go drink some hot chocolate with these guys
Are you sure you're okay?
Eric hon... It's your Mom
Oh my god!
Eric! Are you all right?
Oh my god! Phoebe
Stay on the duck! Stay on the duck! What is happening?
Oh hon!
Hello Mommy
Hey Mom - hi Mom
Well, I'll see you there All right
Hey, is something wrong?
Yeah, it will be all right I'll talk to you about it later
Hey hey, I made the pumpkin risotto
That we saw on the Rachel Ray seasons of summer special
It's awful Momma
It tastes like road kill
Deanne, do you hear how they talk to me
Do you hear how? You got to say something
All right kids, Now you know your Father works very hard
at keeping this house clean and putting three meals on
the table for us every day - Hello?
And besides...
I brought us a pizza!
You know what...fine have your pizza
Have your pizza You broke my heart
You broke my heart!
Looks like it's his time of the month again
Aww... God, that's rough buddy
Who's making the funeral arrangements?
Oh his niece? She must be devastated
Hey is she still hot do you know?
Don't make me lose my temper Marcus!
What...?
Hey, if I don't make it to the funeral
tell the police It was Arlene from Applebee's
No, thanks for calling me
I'll see you later bye
The coach is dead
His funeral is this Friday
I don't think I can handle this alone
Can you come with me?
Of course... I'll postpone my cataract surgery
You are my special lady
Now I'm going to transport you to a world of serene relaxation
Yaa!...Ahh!
Ahh!...
Okay guys let's try to act normal in there
What's wrong with your sunglasses?
I don't want any reason For these guys to call me...
Hollywood! Ha ha ha
Hey, look at that
Kurt McKenzie
and the whole McKenzie clan - Hey, come here
Deanne, you look great
my wife's over there, go say hi
See that ass is still growing
You got a little Kardashian in there
Okay, you kind of turned into a little Michael Vick thing...if he was bulimic
Hi Roxanne, I don't know if you remember me?
I was at your wedding. I was the one that was table dancing all night
Deanne... Mackenzie... - Of course
Hi good to see you - Hello
Oh my god, you're glowing, you look so beautiful with your pregnancy
What the hell are you talking about?
I'm just playing
Oh my god! You should see your face... you're like...
little Lenny Feder! - Momma Ronzoni got big huh?
Look at this handsome hunk of prochute
And such a big success. Come on, give Momma a kiss
Can I get a cheek in all that...
I got you, I got you Poked in the eye by the hat
but I'm all right
How about the tale of your son-in-law here He's a house husband now
My daughter's got to bust her hump
all day to pay the bills While dummy here
stays home and cleans
I don't know how you can talk to me like that
when you look like Idi Amin with a propellor on your head
Oh, that's nice
Roxanne, this is my Mother
Hello Momma Ronzini I am so pleased to meet you
I am little Lenny's wife
Ooh, whay a spicy quesadilla you got yourself Lenny
Oh, yeah...she tastes great
Mmm...I bet.
I'm a gangster, what? I'm a gangster, beeotch!
Whoa ho didn't I tell you to turn the phone off there Greg?
Yeah, but it's my massage therapist
What? No no No cell phones
Wait, no cell phones then I'm out of here
Higgy!
Who's ready to get their funeral on?
I'm sorry, death makes me weird What's up McKenzie?
You got those soft hands still using Palmolive?
Hey, what's up Lenny?
Buddy, I thought you were going to start working out
What does that mean?
Um... you're fat - No!
Hey guys, this is good news I've always wanted to represent you
You're the third Olsen twin?
Keep it down So these are your kids?
And who's that girl That's not a Nanny is it?
Uh... No, no This is a...a
friend of ours from China
Oh yeah, No I've been on that website - No, no, like an...
an exchange student that my wife brought into the house
Oh your wife's into chicks? Oh that's nice
Hollywood - Hollywood, see he always lucks out
I always thought something like that...
Hey now! - Ha ha, Lamonsoff!
Rolling up in a Caddy - That's how we do it
Look at you you're growing up on me man
you're a B cup now?
Hey nice ears Do you get the NFL package on those?
nice Caddy You sell lawn furniture and crack?
Come on! I'm the co-owner of Branchford lawn furniture man
I'm the boss now baby
Oh, good for you there - I'm glad you brought your Mother this time
Oh! that's a good one
Wow! It's like shaking hands with an Eagle I'll see you later
Oh my god, It's Captain Caring of the S.S. Melodrama
Oh, he's going to play this one big
Cue pain...
Hey... - Hey
Hell of a circumstance, I know - I know, it sucks. Great to see you
Well, Buzzer's up there coaching heaven's team now
That's true
He's got wilt, pistol Peete Dr. J
Yeah Dr. J's alive still
Well, those type of guys - Yeah, yeah
You look good though man like uh...
If Elvis was an Oompa Loompa he's right in front of me
Wow. I don't make jokes at funerals because it's disrespectful
But if that's part of your healing process
I'm cool with it - Aw... that's nice, thanks
Are you cool with a finger in you? Whupoo!
Roxanne!
Remember?... Rob, the guy I always tell you about? ... Rob
Of course! The kid who didn't hit puberty until he was nineteen right?
That was our secret
And this must be your mother...
My wife - I'm sorry
Hi, I'm Gloria. Oh it's so nice to meet you
Your design line is so beautiful
Oh thank you, thank you and I love your...scarves
She'll be tying me up with those later
He's not kidding
Oh grody!
Oh... the long, long tongues
See you in there See you in there
right over there
Oh, oh, sit right here sit right here
I'm going to go say hi to Lenny hon - No, honey...
Oh hi Lenny!
How are you doing?
Oh, oh, oh, and I heard
through a little bird
that you guys rented the Earnshaw lake house for us for the entire weekend
That's like a dream come true for us
We had to rent it for the whole weekend
but we don't get to stay the whole weekend
because we have to go to Milan tomorrow for Roxanne's fashion show
Oh my god! That's a shame Oh, but you're going to have so much fun in Milan
J. Lo and Marc Anthony vacationed there last year
And it's right up the street from Lake Como where George Clooney has a villa
You know, I read too many of those magazines what can I say?
Come on, I'm sorry - Sorry, I can't stop talking
Here we are backing away ashamed...right?
Oh, and Tom Cruise got married there too
Thanks for letting me know - What?
Well, I don't understand why you had to rent it for the whole weekend
You pay for the whole weekend because it's a holiday
and they won't rent it to you for one night
So your friends are partying all weekend while you're stuck in dreary old Milan
Well, that was nice of you
Well, it was nice of us It's your money too isn't it?
Yeah. It's your money It's his money
It's my money. Lets' put all our cash in a pile and split it
That's a nice hat It brings out the death in the room
I'm sorry, I'm nervous It's the funeral, I get weird
There he is
Joe Hollywood - Mr. Big Shot agent
Do you think he represents Hulk Hogan?
No way
Then he ain't that big is he?
By the way, if anyone asks, Rita is an exchange student
I think I just sat on your adding machine
Now I know what happened to the fish tank
Coach Robert "The Buzzer" Fernando
was a caretaker by profession
What a wonderful word that is to describe his devotion to his fellow man
he truly took care
When Robert knew that his time was short
He told me there was one specific man he wanted to say a few words to memorialize him
So I'd like to ask Lenny Feder to come up now
I'm sorry
I'm not prepared at all I ... I'm
I feel very honored that ... that
Coach asked me to do this but uh ...
I also feel terrible, because I haven't seen the coach in so long
And um... he always wanted me to come into town and see him and uh ...
I got caught up in what I've been doing and
I regret it
I understand that the St. Mark's team of 1978 was the only championship
team that the coach ever had
and uh ... That's very impressive
I've got to say, judging from the talent we had to offer
I mean, believe it or not
Robbie and Marcus were actually shorter in back 1979
Yeah but those guys had a skill that you never masterd
They knew how to pass the ball
Looks like somebody has to learn how to pass the Kentucky Fried Chicken
I'm kidding I'm kidding
We're saying goodbye to a big part of our lives
All of us
You affected everybody in his room and um ...
I hope we get to live our lives like you
Have no regrets when life's final buzzer sounds
So uh, let's all bow our heads in silence
Ave Maria...Gratia plena
They should have just ended it right after you
This is insanity -Yeah, five bucks, it takes him down on one knee
Oh you're on - Ok
Maria Gratia plena
Ave, ave dominus
dominus tecum.
Benedicta tu in mulieribus,
Ave Maria,
Oh grow up will you! - Oh look at him now
Don't get so mad there Robbie
So how are we feeling about Rob's girl? Are we happy for him?
Oh my god, the Saint Polly Grandma?
She seems all right - She's pretty
You know. in a "me in a wig" sort of way
When uh... Ben Franklin was flying that kite, it had the key on it
That was to her apartment
You know what? I've gotta say
he seems like he's in love you know
Well, he was in love with the first three wives too
The cheater, the beater and the eater
Yeah
You know, his problem is he's always so overly in love so quick
and then one day he snaps and then it get's ugly in a hurry
Coffee Mr. Feder?
Uh... No, no, no, no I'm good, I'm good
I mean I thank you
That's cool of you to voluntarily want to give me coffee
Just uh... you drink it you know while you're studying inside the church
But you texted me you want coffee
I texted you that I wanted you to drink the coffe and study
So study Your books in the church
Go ahead All right Rita
Mommy, I want some milk
Oh sure angel, come here Let's give you a little something
Slow down honey. Not such big gulps You're going to get a tummy ache
Your son is so cute. How old is he?
Oh he's uh... forty-eight months
That's four - Yeah
We meant to stop it last year but um... he likes it so much
and we don't like to say no
Hey sweetheart
Could you use a fork please - No, no, no, no, No!!
Looks like she didn't get the memo
('Last Child' by Aerosmith) Yes sir, no sir, don't come close
To my home sweet home Can't catch no dose
Of my hot tail poon tang sweetheart Sweathog ready to make a silk purse
From a J. Paul Getty and his ear with her face in a beer
Hey! let me get that spot - Hey! gotta respect the Caddy
nice, you drove your piggy bank here - Hey, come on
Hey, Rob's car is an Oompa Loompa too
It's cute
It will do for one night -Yeah? you can handle it?
Daddy, what is that machine doing? - it's getting rid of the moths honey
Where is it taking them? - Hell
Don't say that Higgins - Oh I'm sorry not hell, Mexico
It's giving them electricity, so the moths can fall asleep, electrically
It's electrocuting them?
No, no, no - But Daddy, they're dying
It's killing them? - No!
Daddy No! No, no it's not okay?
Let me adjust it
They're all all right I promise you, see?
Come on, look at this guy
Whee...
All right, it's still sleeping - it's dead Dad
Ooh a porch swing. I know what I'm doing this weekend
Now he's dead
Welcome back to 1978 everybody
I don't remember it this big
this is my kitchen.
This is it right now - Oh please, enough with the kitchen
Lenny, thank you so much
It's unbelievable
Oh my god, an organ
Oh come on could you at least humour me? - is this like an outward bound thing Dad?
It's like an episode of Lost
Hon, you might not want to bang on that - But I like playing it like this
Okay so listen guys who's getting what room?
Actually, I made a map of who gets which room
I took the liberty of reserving the room with the waterbed for Gloria and myself
Ooh...
You're going to do the backstroke tonight
I want to go swimming with you guys tonight - Oh honey, we're not really going swimming
What I meant was
Oh no, that's okay. She doesn't need to know what you mean
I don't even know what you mean - Oh, I know what she meant
Anyway, let's get back to the room
picking Rob, would you like to take us on a tour perhaps?
Yeah, I'd love to show you a tour
Gloria was just trying to be clear - I need someplace near a bathroom
Why does the Grandma get to go swimming and I don't
Okay, here's the big daddy
The Master bedroom
You know what? Lenny should have that
Oh no, no, no Honey, honey
Come on, let the kids have it
It's a fun time for the kids to be together
and they can do kid's things
Come on, come on, go share it share the Master bedroom
Hey Dad
What's the big box attached to the back of the TV?
Um... that's the rest of the TV
They didn't always have flatscreens there sport
Wow! That is some stone-age shiznit
Yeah that's whack - I need a room with heat
It's summer, it's like 95 degrees in here - There he goes again
I got bunyans - You know I actually have a poultice I make
Using maze - Just say corn, maze is corn everybody
Yeah but he says maze because it sounds more mystical
Exactly - Well I like the way he said it
Maze, maze
Maze
It's fantastic okay - it's a-maze-ing
Just spread it on cloth and moisten and heat it
and then I apply it directly to the affected area
Oka, well
My affected area is pretty big
Ahhhhh!
Momma
I didn't know the Elephant Man lived in your shoe
How in the world is anyone supposed to get some sleep
knowing they's under the same roof as "Tobe" Bryant over here
You're stepping over the line woman
So what's with that Labradoodle? It sounds like Stephen Hawking or something
Well, Curly had his vocal chords clipped
A neighbor filed a complaint so it was either clip the chords
or put Curly down
Wrong choice - Come on, he's part of the family
Imagine when a burgler comes over and hears that
he must run in terror
Wow, what's that turkey doing in the house?
By the way Lamonsoff you son.
What's up with the boob thing Is the kid a little old?
He's going to be rubbing her boob with his beard soon
Yeah, he's going to get a milk moustache on a real moustache.
that won't look right
That kid, when he's ten on his bike The Mom's going to be in the basket
he's going to be like...
Why are they inside right now anyways?
Why would they not come out here and enjoy the lake
or do something in the woods
There wasn't a time of day that I wasn't outside
We weren't, we were always out... we were never in
I can't take it anymore
Oh, he's being a Dad, look at this - He's going to do it?
All right, that's it no more video games
No more cell phones no more texting
Just from now on, while we're here stay outside and play
What are we supposed to do?
Just play like normal kids come on, move it
Where's Becky?
Hey Greg
When we were kids, your Dad used to talk us into doing the craziest stuff
- That's right I remember one time
We got our shower curtains
Put them in shopping carts and went shopping cart sailing
Wait, how did you steer? - Well, we didn't
How did you stop?
You just mashed into something that was the fun part
And we used to shoot bottle rockets at each other
You always go for the guys face because you want to blind him
Okay that's a little much pal - No I know...
kids, don't do that
You don't uh... Erase, reboot
Look, look make a tree fort I'll get you started
Rob lived in one of those for a year - Why?
My Dad took away my rollerskates - Uh oh, vietnam flashback
Wait a minute
Are you kidding me? - What, what?
Rope on a tree baby! - You know what that means
We get to hang ourselves?
Are you kidding me? You see a rope and a lake
and that doesn't make you want to go nuts?
It makes me like...
You know what? Let me go!
Lammie... Yeah baby
Dude! Get up on the top rock
Yeah, yeah top rock - You got to back it up
Back it up - Go baby
Class is in session
Who wants to see a double flip?
Whoo!
Too high! - Drop!
This was a mistake!
I can't let go I'm too scared
Oh!
That was awesome!
Oh God!, Oh God! my leg snapped!
Oh my God! I have a bone sticking out!
Oh God! I need help!
It's a stick I got ya
Very good!
Daddy look! birdies hury
Oh my god
I'll go get a shoebox
Whoa, whoa, whoa here you go
Hey did you really land on that bird, man?
I'm not sure? I...I did hear a chirp, and then a "crunch" like noise
but uh... that could have been anything
Hey Lenny, remember we used to come in here in high school
late night after we got wasted
What's wasted? - nice one higgy
Wasted, kids is something...
that's happens when you have a hankering
for ice cream
Ooh! I want to get wasted
I want to get totally wasted I want to get wasted every single day of my life
I want to get chocolate wasted - No you don't need to get wasted, it's okay
All right everybody, you know what? Let me make this easy
17 burgers and 17 fries, okay?
And uh, that will be just for me What are you guys having?
Lamonsoff!
Do me a favor, that's for everybody and just put it on there
Oh you don't have to do that
I am not going to have any hamburgers
I'll take some meatloaf, some calzones, put the marinara sauce on the side
with corn. Either on the cob or whatever you got?
What are you going to the electric chair?
What? - No he was just kidding Henry VIII
She's eating for two
Her and "Toebo" cop
But Momma, they do have bunyan rings if you want some
That was good Lenny - How about some drinks
Hey, I said I'm paying so... take it easy with that okay?
I'm kidding everybody
We can drink all we want I'll start it off
I'm going to have a coke and I know Donna, she's going to want a Sprite
And uh... Bean's good with milk obviously
I want cookies
Ooh, cookies and miLF - miLF, oh Higgins thank you so much
Take it easy all right Tuck it away Higgins
And I'll take a flat water...Voss - What?
You know?...Voss. well Fiji if you don't have Voss
You know, anything you got is good
Yeah, we have out of the faucet - like from the hose?
Tap water - What country is that from?
Oh my god just get the water
We're done talking about water Tap water
I will get the Voss from the ba... - Just sit down Rita, study the menu
the big test is coming
Hey now
I'm sorry? What now?
He says they have the best burger in town here
Really?
So since when did you learn to speak Chinese?
Just a little something I picked up watching a Chinese cooking show
That's great. Maybe you should focus a little less on the talking
and a little more on the cooking
You got told
You got "toe"
He comes back! - Mommy, can I have some of her milk?
There is... Joe Hollywood
Who's that? Dickie Bailey?
Oh my god Hey, long time no see
How are you doing? - You know that game had some bad calls
What game are we talking about?
The game.. what when we were kids? 30 years ago, that game?
That last shot...
your foot was on the line
Shouldn't have counted
Wow, I don't know? I don't remember it quite like that
You got the rest of the Fugly Five over there huh?
Yes.. yes, they are the boys are here
Boys? they don't look like they could make it up and down the court anymore
What about you? Did you put on a few pounds?
From when I was 12?
Yes, I think so
You don't know how to come at me do you?
Rematch! I dare you
Wow
In basketball? you don't look like you're in the greatest shape either
I could see having a getting off the couch contest with you but...
Anytime, anywhere
I was just kidding I really don't want to do that
And uh... hey! Next time you come to town I'll have plenty of that Boss water for your kid
Wouldn't want him to go thirsty
All right, well uh... just for the record It's Voss water by the way, with a V
Ooh - Okay
It's going to be an emotional day tomorrow boys
Spreading the Buzzer's ashes - Oh my god
Well, the coach requested that we scatter his remains on Mcintyre Island
I've got a beautiful ceremony planned
Lenny are you still going to be able to do that tomorrow?
What time do you leave?
What are you talking about - What do you mean leave?
I forgot to tell you fellahs, we've got to to take off in the morning
You're leaving the lake house?
What are you talking about? You can't leave
We got the ceremony tomorrow
Oh, Lenny's just playing everybody
Are you joking? - He's not
Are you joking?
I want to be there. I mean... we all want to be there
It's just, we've got to go to Milan
Milan what? Italy
What's in Milan?
It's pretty cool Roxanne's got her fall line coming out
Fashion week
Three nights at the Four Season's baby
Eggs benedict by the pool
Playstation 3 in every room
and they show boobies on italian TV
I'm going to italy
I meant no, no
I didn't tell you guys we're probably going to go to italy
as a... thanks for ruining the surprise
Lenny, it's not going to be the same without you
Yeah, come on
Roxanne was cool enough to let us come for tonight because this is a big deal for her
I mean, can't Roxanne go without you and you could meet her...
We are seating me and my lady we do everything together
Last year we had to Skype Becky's school play from Milan
Roxanne...
I thought we were going to get wasted?
Sweetie, what was I supposed to do? lie to them
It's not what you said It's how you said it
I am not some insensitive work crazy dragon-lady
and I'm not going to let you depict me as one
We are skipping the dinner in Milan Spreeeading the ashes!
And we are leaving first thing Sunday morning
Lamonsoff! it's five in the morning Can you kill the dog now?
I'm thinking about it
Go ahead, birdie coming through everybody, birdie coming through
Good morning take it right over to the table
How are we going? something stinks in here
Gloria and I are making breakfast for everybody
Using a dehydrator
Which never cooks anything above 115 degrees
Those are pankakes?
They're ocean pankakes
They're grey, they look like you cut them off an elephant's legs
I'm not eating that
It's good for you - What is this?
What is this? a scab?
It's dehydrated banana - What happened to a normal banana?
You peel a banana and eat it - The kids will love it, it's fun man
It doesn't go bad all day you slice it up really thin
Oh, I see what you do with it
maybe you're right, this is good
Is that what they're meant for - You could do that I guess you could
I'd rather be hit by dehydrated fruit than a...
Processed...
Processed fruit - I'm just kidding around
You think you're rich and you can just slap people with dehydrated...
I don't think that, don't say that
Good morning... Honey, how is the birdie?
Ooh La La
- Where did you get those shoes - I know, I know, I'm over dressed
But sorry, I packed for Milan not the lake
Made from acorns - So dude, I'm not eating any of this
You got any normal food? cereal...uh...
Would you like to make your egg white frittata Mr Feder?
Oh, uh... is that what you're doing in science class now?
Making frittata's? - No, you know what?
We're okay. You can go practice that in your room though
I know you got the big test coming
Yeah uh.. you know honey?
I think you're overwhelming Lenny Here, I've got a present for you
Bacon
Knock yourself out - Bacon! hey...
She gets it - She gets it
Thank god she gets it
All right so...
Hey, what are you doing?
Cooking the bacon - Not in here
That's dead animal flesh and It's not going near the vegan food
Murderer! - Fine
What do I do with it? Oh I know...
I'm sorry buddy
Curly! shame on you
That crazy dog
Must have got into some of my leftover pasta pazul
Yeah Momma I'm sure that's exactly what happened
It did! We should get a dog
We should get a water buffalo Whoo
Higgins! what are you doing?
Look, I don't wear pants at my house I'm not wearing them at your house...sorry
That was a man's ass?
Yeah
How sweet is... look at that
Ooh, ooh
That's it buddy
Okay, throw the rock
Skim it
Throw it at tree
Throw it at the lake
Throw it at your brother
Hit your head with it
Just do something
come on...
Greggie what are you doing? dressed like that
You hanging out with jiminy Crickey?
We were supposed to be going to Milan, remember?
That's what I packed for
Come on, just cut those into shorts we'll play some hoop later
Pass dude
You don't want revenge for the last time I whooped you?
That was four years ago homey
All I want is to fly to Milan and have some fresh made gelato
Ouch
Wow! what would your Father have done on that one?
That one would have been a backhand to the side of the head
and possible bleeding from the ear
My Father would have thrown me down the stairs
just for using the word "gelato"
Ah, you got the new Foreman - Yeah
This is awesome Hilliard was trying to
make me some tofu grape nuts in there
Try it out - You cleaned this thing right?
Yeah I cleaned this thing
Thanks alot
By the way, Mcintyre Island ain't close
Eat as much as you can We've got a big row ahead of us
These are kind of...
Come on man
What are you doing to me? Seriously...
You don't want your breath to smell like your grandmother's closet?
('Rock and Roll Never Forgets') (by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band)
So you're a little bit older and a lot less bolder Than you used to be
So you used to shake 'em down But now you stop and think about your dignity
So now sweet sixteens... -Beautiful
You got to respect going to Mcintyre Island though
haven't done that since we were 12
Got my fist boob there
I know you did, Tracy Thornhill - Tracy Thornhill
Absolutely, I remember that - They were flat, but I was a fan
Higgins, is that all you think about is chicks man?
Yeah relax we've got daughters
That's all you guys think about too The difference is, I can do something about it
That's not tr...all right that's true - You want to know what I fantasize about?
Yeah
Candy bars
No, I had a bad blood sugar test at my last checkup
and Sally cut me off
You're a grown-ass man How do you deal with that?
Oh, I've got my own hidden stash I'm not stupid
Of course...
Seriously, I've got it all
I've got Reese's, Butterfingers, Three Musketeers. I hide them under my clothes
In the bottom of the hamper It's great because
the smell of my sweat socks masks the chocolte smell
And the looks of your underwear masks the chocolate stains
Hang on guys I gotta make a sissy - No, no, we're almost there
I gotta make a sissy! - Oh come on! you made three already
It must just be oozing out at this point - Shut up, I'm trying to concentrate
It's taking a piss not the S.A.T's
Are you peeing or...
Is a diesel truck turning off What the hell is that?
listen to hamper bottom
I think he's sending a message in Morse code
Getting old...stop
Can't pee...stop
Reeks like asparagus...stop even though I didn't even have any...
The good news is these girls are going to say hi to it
They don't all look like that ladies
You'd think that 300 pounds... Oww! Come on!
('Lay it on the Line' by Triumph) I'm tired of playin foolish games
sick mix tape you made Robbie
Oh yeah
Hey guys, I uh...
I brought something too - Get out of here
It's the net Yeah
Championship game - Let me see that
Thought the coach should have it
Robbie, you got to put this on the urn buddy
Your foot was on the line Oh, Bailey
What do you think the coach would have said if he heard about that trash talker?
He'd kick our ass for not kicking his ass
Yeah - Why don't we do it the old school way
have Eric beat his ass for us
We should! - No, no, no
I've got about eight seconds of fighting
total, left in my life
And I'm saving that in case I get mugged or...
you know? Someone cuts in front of me
at Burger king or something
That's my hair at the bottom
We can't delay it anymore guys - He just bit his chicken...all right
Are we going? - We're doing it
Let's do it
You know I...
I think the coach is here with us
I think he's proud to be here with us
in ash form - right here on this island
Where we hid from our parents and...
right now where we're hiding from our wives and children
Goodbye to you
Friend
wise advice giver
Buzzer noise maker
Rob, come on
I really messed up my marriages
all of them
It was my fault man
I just couldn't hang on
You know, my own daughters
I don't even hardly know them
The Buzzer would be ashamed of me - No he wouldn't
Come on man - Come on
You have plenty of time to patch things up with your daughters man
You just... call them when you get back
Actually, they're going to be here in about 20 minutes
Wait, what?
I could use a piece of chicken - No, no, no don't
Finish the bucket actually - Actually I'm still going to eat it
This is pretty sick but I'm hungry
('Escape (The Piņa Colada Song)') (by Rupert Holmes)
if you like pina coladas Getting caught in the rain
if you're not into yoga if you have half a brain
if you like making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape
piece of crap car!
What?
Hey Dad...
Me?
What?
How do you get that...?
from that
95 percent of that's got to be from the Mother
and I am low-balling
How is that possible?
Oh no, the Elvis hairs are going up her nose. She doesn't know what to do
Is this your car?
My old man lent me this turd
Because he doesn't care if I break down in the middle of nowhere
and get eaten by a bear or something
Your old man? - Yeah, my boyfriend
47 years old
You know I wish I liked guys my own age
But I'm just chasing the Dad that ran out on me
Hoochie Mama
What does that mean?
I don't know but it feels right
I hope that car never gets fixed
I don't think it will
I took the spark plugs out
nice
We're all looking at the same time let's at least...take shifts
Yeah good idea - Lamonsoff, you and me look at the tree
McKenzie, we're going to look at her butt for a little bit okay?
Okay, all right - All right, good plan
...and shift
Shift
...and shift
What are we doing? - Wait, are we all looking at the tree right now?
Yeah, let's go back to the ass
Hey Jasmine, this is Gloria Gloria, this is Jasmine
Oh, hi
Oh look, here comes Grandma going right in to the rescue
Let me take a look
Oh, honey...
You've blown your gasket
if you like pina coladas Getting caught in the rain
if you're not into yoga if you have half a brain
if you like making love at midnight
I'm good, I'm all good - Wow
That was rough...
You guys thought seeing them at the car was gross
you should have heard that waterbed action last night
Sounded like two grizzlies fighting over a salmon
-Aww... there was a lot happening
At least he's getting something
I've been shut out ever since Deanne found out she was pregnant
Oh yeah, that will happen
Can you have sex when they're pregnant? or does that hurt the baby
No, McKenzie can because the baby thinks he's getting a Tootsie Roll
Snickers...Snickers - Oh, a little bigger
I got lucky on St Patty's day but uh...
she was half asleep
And by half asleep I mean she was asleep, yeah she was out
- You're allowed to do that? She was fine with it
Robbie! Hey, how did it go with the daughter
Awkward...
I guess the first 20 years of a kid's life is more important than I realized
It's always the kids who pay - kids pay
They pay - They pay
They always pay - They pay with maze
It's good hanging with you guys - No, no, stop
I'm glad my family turmoil can provide entertainment for you guys
Let's cheer him up, how did we cheer Robbie up in the old days
a little arrow roulette
whoa, whoa, arrow roulette - Did we really do that?
single stupidest thing we ever did
- it was the craziest - Moronic
Assenine
I can't believe we're doing this
How do we always let Lenny talk us into the stupidest stuff?
Remember the rules, whoever stays in the circle the longest, wins
- What?! Whoever stays the longest
- We gotta stand here? And a one... And a two...
Why are we doing this?!
Go!
('Walk All Over You' by AC/DC)
I don't see it, I don't see it - Where is it?!
I lost it in the sun! - I lose!
Out of my way I'm running high
Take your chance with me and I'll give it a try
Ain't no woman in the world I know
'Cause I ain't looking for (an overflow?)
Oh baby I ain't got much
Resistance to your touch
Take off the high heels, let down your hair
Paradise ain't far from there I wanna walk all over you
I am the champion!
I beat all you panzies!
Ahh...Haa!!!
Whoraaa!!!
Come on, come on - You're moving! ahh...! you're shaking...
You're complaining about your hammy I've got an arrow in my foot!
Oww!! Easy, easy...
What's going on?
Rob got attacked by an indian!
Yeah, but he got away!
What? - He got attcked by an indian?
Daddy, what happened?
Amber! I'm glad you got here
This is my daughter Amber everybody
if you like pina coladas
- You've got another one - Dude, high five
I'm not high fiving, my wife's coming
Oh my God! Oh my God!
You made me look at that!
Ahh!! This is killing me!
Bridget come down here Daddy's hurt
Yes I like pina coladas
You got another one? - Yeah
Hey... Hey...
Now I get it - Now that makes sense
Shut up!
Foot...arrow...why?
I think we've got to pull it the rest of the way through
Oh let me get it! - No, I'll get it
It was my idea I said it first!!
Hey!
We're going to be all right here
All we need is a poultice with some maze...
Oh shut up!!
That poultice shit doesn't work
It never worked! Are you insane?!
Get some alcohol on this Bitch! You should know about that!
You were born during the prohibition
...And there's the snap
That was bigger than I thought
It was going to be...wow - Snap, Crackle and Pop
Excuse me, Princess Rita
Are you just going to sit there or are you going to help me?
No, Mr. Feder said that I must study for the big final
- What final? - You tell me! He just keeps handing me books
Oh for... never mind. Did you pack the adapters for italy?
Yes, I did in L.A.
Great, and just wipe your hands, I need you to organize all those papers in here
Very neatly, okay They can not be ruined
Hello, hi... This is Roxanne Feder
I just want to make sure... Mommy! Mommy!
It came out!, it came out!
Not now honey I'm on the phone okay
My tooth, it fell out!
That's great honey just put it under the pillow
and I'll put a dollar in there later okay?
What?
Becky, I am on the phone I'll put the dollar under...
Why would you?
There's no Tooth Fairy?
I can't believe I just did that
Oh Lenny, you should have seen her little face
I don't know what's wrong with me? I mean, I try so hard
and I can't seem to get anything right
You made a mistake parents make mistakes
Remember the time I told Greg babies come from Mommy's poop?
and he kept looking in the toilet for a baby brother
- That's not funny I'm just saying
Can you hear me now? ...okay
I just feel...
What about now?... Can you hear me?
I feel like I ruined her childhood
- She was going to find out eventually Eventually, but not today
Can you hear me now? This is so cool, are you there?
Hey! Didn't I say no cell phones?
I thought we had a deal!
What's up Dad?
That was cup phones? - Yeah, Charlotte taught us
Cool huh? hey check out Becky's
Look Dad, I have cup waiting
I've got to call you back I'm on with Spongebob
Was that a turkey?
Yo Andre, can you hear me?
Where's the player? can you hear me?
Oh yeah
The best thing about these is we can leave the cup in the shower
and listen to Jasmine clean herself tomorrow morning
What!!
Oh my God!
May I borrow this? Attention troopers...
There's been a request from the phone company
would you please install cup phones
in every adult bedroom right away!
Thank you here we go!... move it, move it
I said move it, move it
Oh...
Yes, I have always been the Tooth Fairy
No...Bean's Mommy is the Tooth Fairy for his family
I just cover our family
Do not tell Bean...okay?
Becky, I love you so so so so much okay?
I'm sorry sweetheart - Okay come on, you're costing me a fortune
Let's go, this is going to be a high cup bill
(Gloria) Can I still put maze on your arrow wound?
What the hell is that? Is that Gloria laughing?
She's still here after he had to snap on her like that?
She forgave him right away
You are my special lady
And you are my one footed maze covered lover
Okay come on We've got to go to sleep
We're going to Milan tomorrow right? ...long flight
Wow... - Let's get our rest
(Bean) Somebody kill that turkey!
Is that getting me horny?
Yes...
Do you promise you'll still feed her after we leave?
I promise - Mommy, that's my milk
Bean, we have to learn how to share even with birds
But he's going to drink you dry!
('Time to Fly' by REO Speedwagon)
I've been around for you Been up and down for you
I got a third time
Donna, you want to try? - Sure
But, I stink at sports - That's all right, here
I've swallowed my pride for you - Hold it like this
Down low and throw it and let the rock do the magic
nice! - I did it!
Good job Donna
Do you know how to skip rocks Mrs. Feder?
Are you kidding me? I am the best at this
Give me that Now watch me
and we can't relive it Well I make you...
- Oh!!...
Oh my God baby are you okay?
Yeah Mom, I'm just glad to see you having some fun
I'll take your luggage to the car Mr. Feder
It's not my luggage that's your textbooks
and that's nice of you to take your own stuff down
in your ca... come on, why are you...
Oh come on man, already? You're leaving?
Yes I've got to go - You need any help getting to the airport
Lenny, we've got a little problem - What, what happened?
I forgot how to skip a rock
Now, I think it's going to take a couple of days to figure it out
So... I think we better stay
Are you kidding me? - For reals Mom! we're not leaving?
No, I don't need to see a bunch of starving models walking around in my clothes
Yeah, why would you want to see models when you can see this?
See... You couldn't get that in Milan
You...you, what do you want to do today?...anything
I don't know, you tell me What was your favourite thing to do
when you were 12 and it was sunny out?
Ooh..well I can't do that
Maybe...go to a water park
- Then what are we waiting for? Seriously?
Let's load up the car people - Water park!
I'm not taking my shirt off! - I'm not taking my shirt off either
Oww!...oh...oh Whoo Hoo!
You're wasting it
Sorry
It's all right It's actually not that bad
('Just Can't Wait' by J. Geils Band)
I have to go number two - Okay, hang on
- Yeah Hey Dad
Hey, where have you guys been?
Well, we didn't bring our swimsuits
so Marcus went to take us to buy some
We got them at a store called Naughty and nice
Marcus said... It was the only one that was open
The only place open...for bathing suits?
In the summer
We got my bathing suit at Stop N' Shop
That's uh...I like that one - Let's hit the waterslide!
I just can't wait I just can't wait
What a beautiful day
It's a girls day
Oh boy... Are we really doing bathing suits?
Oh come on girls, we don't know these people. Who cares?
Yeah you're right, who cares? I've been working all summer
on this six pack
How you feel about that?
Uhh... Baby got front!
Go Dee...go Dee... - Uh huh
Come on Sally it's your turn Take it off
Oh no, I have a bit of a chill actually Gloria, how about you?
I don't own a bathing suit... but I like to go nude
No, no, no...
Hey, somebody likes what he sees
('Ready for Love' by Bad Company) I'm ready for love
Oh baby, I'm ready for love
I'm ready for love Oh baby, I'm ready for love
Daddy, this line's not even moving - I know
I want Mommy's milk
I know you do son
He wants Mommy's milk Give him some Mommy's milk
No, no, no... - Mommy's milk, mommy's milk, mommy's
Dammit, no more Mommy's milk okay
You want milk you're drinking regular milk
Hey, hey, here kid... -Hey!
Don't give me the guff right now kid Here's a buck, run along...run along
Here, drink milk straight out of the carton
I don't know if Mommy will want me to
All right just drink it okay! Just like Daddy does, let me show you okay
Okay
I'm just like Daddy!
There we go - See that? no more booby milk
Yay! more for us!
So ladies... how do we get Mr. Banana Hammock
to come over here where we can get a better look at him
Okay, well there's two big advantages to breast feeding
and I'm going to put mine to work
- Sally, wow! - That's it girl
Work that umbrella pole baby
Sally! Oh my God! - Oh, it's definitely working
- You're good at that - Oh my God, he likes it!
All right doing the back door shuffle Cut the line, go, go, go
Don't get hurt
Dad? Are we allowed to go through here?
Absolutely not but we're doing it anyways
Your cool Dad found this back in the day
Go up the ladder - Hey, it's dark in there
maybe you should hold my hand... I'm scared
Hey, hey, hey come here... Don't fall for that crap
you stay away from him
What are you talking about? He's gay isn't he?
No, he just seems gay He's a genius
All righty... who's next?
Now's a great time... Charlotte, you're up first
Who's next? Let's go
Is he coming this way? - He's coming this way
He's coming towards us right now
This is good. Now, whatever you do, don't fart
Hey what's up ladies?
So... you are from around these parts eh?
Yeah, I'm from Saskatchatoon!
That's up in Canada eh?
You American ladies, you've been up to Saskatchatoon eh?
Hose teasers
Everything was on steroids except for the voice
('Just Got Back' by Cheap Trick) Well just got back
Been gone too long
Wasn't my idea, didn't pull the trigger Oh oh oh I I I I'm just so glad
I'm just so glad to be back home, yeah
I just got back Been a long long time
Wasn't my idea, didn't point the finger Oh oh oh I I I I'm just so glad
I'm just so glad to go home
Hey, weren't you guys just here?
No, I think you have us confused with some other people
I don't think so because you're two of the hottest chicks
I've ever seen in my life
Hey!
What?
These are my daughters - right...uh uh
Her definitely...because she's Fugly just like you
Hey!
Now who's next?
Ahh!!!
My god, is it a dream?
I just got back Been a long long time
Wasn't my idea, didn't point the finger Oh oh oh I I I I'm just so glad
I'm just so glad to go home
Dad, come on, hurry up! I want to go to Power Splunge
One second sweetie, we're going on all the rides today, we're doing them all
We're going to have fun
- Are you making a sissy? - No I'm not
You know they put a chemical in the pool
that turns urine blue
No, no they're old wives tales sweetie It's an old wives tale
Oh my God! You're humiliating me!
I just got back I been asleep too long
Wasn't my idea what the doctor figured Oh oh oh I I I I'm just so glad
I'm just so glad, I'm just so glad,
can I get a picture? - A little further, a little further
I don't know about this one Dad It's kind of steep
Yeah, yeah, it's a little steeper than I remember
Okay let's go to another ride - I don't like it either, yeah come on
Good thing the kid chickened out so you don't have to go, right Feder?
Why don't you hire somebody to do it for you Mr. ritchie rich?
Hey Wiley what's up man?
Step aside chumps let me get this on
Hasta la vista Chicken shiznit
Yeah!!
Go kid! Whoo!!
That was good, that was very nice - All right, now I want some of this
Look at this
Atta boy - What happened there?
- Atta boy! - Backwards huh?
Yeah!!
You're up Hollywood
I'm up?...All right I don't know how you
follow up backwards? Just pay attention to the dismount would you
Oh ho! Looks like second place again Bailey huh...?
Do you believe this guy? Second place?
Second place...
Go down the hanging by your feet - Show these idiots
- By my feet? - Yeah
Is that safe?
What do you care? you're an animal... You're an animal!!
-Yeah! - I'm an animal!!
Whoohahooa!
Why don't you do it? - I got kids
Yeah Wiley!! Wiley, Wiley
You don't need to do this
Wiley, Wiley, Wiley!
I'm an animal!!! I'm an animal!!!
Yeah!!
I can't get my foot out!! Ahhhh!!!!
That's how you do it boys
Go Becky - You can do this
Good there you go - Yay! give me a five
Roxanne, look at him... It's like he totally forgot about me
Typical man... they take all you can give
and then they trade you in for some cow
Yeah, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do with these now
I do
See that buddy that's the old bank shot
pick a spot... aim for it
Oh yeah, your Dad will go 50 for 50 with these
Really? because on the wii the bank shot never works
Yeah, well you should "wii" turn it and get a "wii" fund
Okay, Tim Duncan's had about a hundred game winners with that bad boy
Honey, are you watching me?
Oh baby! that was hot
Come here for a minute let me show you
What you got to do is... see the box up there?
The top right corner of it?
Hello?
Focus boy, focus get off of that
Lamonsoff! Focus
Oh my God! What a perv
He's totally checking me out
He wans't...Lady...I don't know
All right, come on Go ahead
Follow through, keep the hand up
Are you kidding me? ...Respect
See how good you can be when you wear normal people clothes
- Hey Momma - Hey baby
How come you're not out there playing basketball?
- You know I got... - You got bunyans, I know, where's Kurt?
Are you scared, what's wrong?
Ooh...somebody's in trouble not looking good
All right, I did everybody's first shot for them, now you do the second one
Come on now!
Nobody's doing shots we got kids there dummy
Got to wake up in the morning
All right we're going to bizz beers instead
Who's got beers? Check 'em off
- I'm going to go with one tonight - Yeah, I'll stick with coffee
- I'm having this many - Cheers
I'm just having Metamucil tonight
What's wrong with you guys? We used to come up here and...
party man!...get wasted You losers
Don't worry, you'll grow up one day higgy
You just need to meet the right girl
Oh, my older sister would be perfect for you
What?
She's legally blind but she can see shapes
Anyways, Roxanne? How did you and Lenny meet?
Good question
How did this blob of crap...?
No offense
Meet this lola senorita
Oh, he came into the department store where I was working, I helped him
He wanted me to try this skirt on
Oh, the old try on the skirt trick
I got ya, very sneaky sis - Yeah he did trick me. Because afterwards
he made me try on a bra and hey, I was just trying to help
Okay, okay, I did like him a little
It was, it was a good day
Oh God! Oh my water, my water's breaking!
The baby's coming! - Oh dear God
Are you serious? - Oh! yeah...
I got you, I got you I got you
I'm just playing
('Sentimental Lady' by Bob Welch)
Oh my god it's...
Do you know this song?
Oh, this song is the best
This song is the best
You are here and warm
Oh this song gets me so horny
- You know I was thinking that but now, not so much
I'd like to claim credit for that
Because that's all part of my get some nookie playlist
Get the ladies on the dance floor And I got my lady right here
Come on honey - Aw...
- That was a good move - Good m...all right, let's do this
I know how much you love to dance
Well, you know me... I'm a regular Shavadoo
And all of the things that I said that I wanted Come rushing by in my head when I'm with you
14 joys and a will to be merry And all of the things that we say are very
Sentimental gentle wind
Look at you... all sexy
Deanne?
You should change your name to Deyonce
Oh, God...
Yeah so now he thinks I'm sexy huh?
Can I just enjoy a dance with my fine ass wife
Yes, to the whitest song ever...yes
This is the whitest song ever
You know Lenny? You were right about bringing us here
This place is pretty special - it is, right?
Nothing's going on here and I love it
Roxanne, I have made out with about 25 different girls in this very spot
and I want you to be number 26
- As long as I'm the last one - Oh, that's a guarantee
I'm horny too
- What are you doing? - Oww!
Lamonsoff, what are you doing up?
That day was crazy
Sally...she just attacked me, like never before, it was insane
I just did the same thing with my woman
Really?
Wow
Hey, where's Saskatchatoon?
Yeah! I don't know?
- What am I? - A hose teaser
Look at this
- What am I? - A hose teaser!
- And where are you from? - Saskatchatoon!
What the... What are we going to do with Higgins?
You know what? This is really pissing me off, because...
You know what?...you can't be passed out drunk, single with no responsibility
and not pay for it
You should have to be hurt for that
Sweetheart?
You fell asleep on the couch again
You know you're supposed to go to your room
Marcus, the bird is all better Marcus...
He want's to talk to you
Marcus, you're going to be the best lifeguard at the whole pool
Hold your breath honey Hold your breath honey
Who's that?
Oh, it's Mommy's boyfriend
the one who dresses you
He's crying...he's crying
- Momma? - it's all right...it's all right
It's okay baby - it's okay precious
Okay, I'm going to take you upstairs sweetie
going to put your pj's on
It's not right what you did
You can't just sleep anywhere you know that
You go to your room...you go to your room
This isn't a closet...this is your bedroom
Okay? You could...It's also your bathroom, you can make a pee pee
I'm making a pee pee
Happy Fourth of July everyone
It's the birdies independence day too so keep your fingers crossed honey
- Yay! - Bye birdie
('Monday Morning' by Fleetwood Mac) Monday morning you sure look fine
That's so sexy...what did you say?
Oh, I think she said...
That's great
You know, these guys at the store were talking so much smack
about this basketball rematch that was supposed to go on
Well, I'm glad we're getting these uniforms ready
Oww...No more drinking
Did you really sleep in the closet you drunk?
I think so
No...
Oww!
- Oh God! - Higgins!
Oh, I had the...sexiest dream about a little blonde girl though
yi..ya
I think it was a dream
- Oh come on... - That's sick!
You know, these devilled eggs would really be good if you had some marinara sauce
Oh, it's Lenny's phone...Hello?
All right, here we go... Oh! that's a three
That's one, two, three...ladder! - Oh come on
Ladder! - No
- Oh that's it - The rich keep getting richer
Schniggly is here, so come on Robbie, tell the...tell the man what's going on
He doesn't care - Tell him
Gloria and I are thinking about having a baby together
How great is that? - Isn't that nice?
Wow...that's great
You know the good news is she can't get any more stretch marks
Wow...boy, that's a good one
Th..the good thing also, is that... Gloria and the kid can share diapers
Wow
Man you see, that's just ugly
He doesn't get it He's not in a commited relationship
He doesn't get it, you know he can't because he can't stay
in a commited relationship I'm trying
Oh look...he's just mad because...
all the girls I go out with are 70 to 80 years younger than his wife
- You can't stop him...you can't - like the last one I was with
So she's blonde, she's tall super hot...not your type
me and blondie start going at it
and you know, we're shaking the bed - Shaking the bed?
I don't know...I just know wetting the bed - Shaking the bed...
And right at the good part, you know? This picture behind, right on the wall...falls
and goes... hits her in the forehead
She cut her head?
It cuts her! I didn't slow down
I just throw her two aspirins she yaps on 'em like a frisbee dog
Hey boys!
I am tired...Marcus! your snoring kept me up all night long
You're a dead man!
- Oh wow! - That's my baby girl!
- I thought you were my friend?! - Leave me alone, drink your maze
- You're going to pay this time! - No...!
Bad turtle!
- You evil pig! - Oww...Lenny!
Robbie, Robbie! - You're a psyco!
- Get off man! - Jesus guys...
Calm down! Buddy...buddy
What's the problem?
Ahh...!!
- Ahh!...Oh...Oh - Arrow foot, come here you baby...whee!
Come on! Why are you fighting?
Good to see midget wrestling again though I got to say
How could you do that? That's my daughter!
- Do what?! - Shake the bed with her!
You think I would do that to you?!
Out of any of us? yeah... You'd be the one to do that
I mean you did sleep with Stimpson's Mother
I didn't even know that guy!
It was your friend! I barely knew him!
She grabbed my wiener... I told you guys!
That's his daughter, it's different!
Me and him? Okay, maybe I flirted with him
but that was just to get your attention
- Well what about his snoring? - I heard it too
Ahh!!
Oh no!...twice?
We heard it from three rooms away
All right then, he's off the hook You know Marcus wouldn't
be with your daughter. I..I mean not that she's... You know what I'm saying
Well, what happened to your head?
When I was changing into my pj's
I got the feeling that some perv was looking through my window
So I went to go close the shade and I tripped and hit my head
Yeah dude...that's your daughter. I'd never be with her, you're my best friend man
And Jasmine would never be with me because I'm me
Sorry I don't have my whole life together like Lenny
Oh, together like Lenny...please
I answered your phone you pichacorta It was your assistant
I asked him if he cancelled the flight to Milan and he said he did...
Before we even came here!
He said that? Why would he say that?
- I mean... - So he just made that up huh?
I'm not saying he made it up... I think in his head he believes it's true
Don't you agent me Lenny! Stop trying to handle everybody and everything
and start taking a little responsibility for once!
I'll take responsibility
Okay, you're right I thought it would be better for our family
to be here with normal people instead of going to Milan
We're normal?
I was scared to tell you It was easier for me to keep it a secret
You peel back any marriage there are secrets
mine is...I...I love you
I love you very much
Roxanne, I just...I...our kids are becoming nutty, snotty, spoiled
I...I...we got a Nanny, we got... - So she is a Nanny
- No, no, no. she's not a Nanny - Of course she's a Nanny!
When does the lying stop?
It stops right after this
She's more of an au pair okay? not really a Nanny
Lenny
All right that's it, the lying stops now I won't lie to you ever again, I swear to God
I love you
Men lie! They can't help themselves
Kurt sure as hell lies!
What do I lie about "Toe" J. simpson
Oh please...the Nanny? - What about the Nanny?
- You have a thing for her! - I do not have a thing for the Nanny
I'm a married man...period
But did I enjoy having a nice conversation
with a woman that wasn't going "where's this?" and "did you pick up that"
- Yeah - Well you could have nice conversations with me
When? You're always working
and when you come home your just...you're tired all the time
You barely even touch me or look at me
He sounds like an old woman!
Deanne, you should have married Umberto Denuzzio like I told you
- Yeah and you know if I'd have stayed with him
you'd be the one that's pregnant right now Momma!
You're probably right sweetheart I'll just butt out
Thank you!
Look maybe I do take you for granted
and I'm sorry
How's about I take you out every Thursday night for date night?
No, Thursday's Grey's Anatomy but... any other night would be beautiful
As long as we're all being honest
I think I should be honest too
Um...
I'm actually not a part owner of the lawn furniture store
I don't even work there anymore I got laid off in April
But I rented a Caddy and I acted like...you know, a big shot
because I didn't want you guys to know
Lamonsoff, you don't have to hide anything from us
I'm sorry
Yeah, since we're getting things off our chest here
I've got a confession to make
I'm wearing a toup
No shit
I have a confession to make
I'm really...a man
- No - I said that
I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding
I'm really a little hurt that so many of you believed it
- No, no, no we were just saying... - Seriously, you're very womanly
Nevertheless, I know it's not my place
but uh... well after all, I am older than anyone here
Hell yeah you are!
Well, despite the joking and the razzing I see a lot of love here
And with love, comes hostility
like uh...Rob, when he snapped at me the other day. That was scary
And you all thought that I was so calm
But inside...inside I was saying Gloria Noonan, do not call him
a bug eyed sociopath with a little man complex
Do not say that his hair makes him look like a dirty Q-tip
I like that
Or that he resembles an elder...gay...Jonas brother
They get it... they get the point about where you're going
Or a midget Phillipino Fonzie
I didn't say any of those things
That's my favorite one
Hey...!
life can be difficult sometimes It gets bumpy
What with family, and kids...and things not going exactly like you planned
But that's what makes it interesting
In life, the first act...alway's exciting
The second act... that's where the depth comes in
- Why didn't you ever tell us that she gets it? - Yeah you were really holding out
That's what I've been trying to tell you guys
Group hug! ('Do I' by J. Geils Band)
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do Oh do I love you with all my heart
I do, I do now, yes I do Do I want you to stay by my side
I do, I do now, yes I do
- Okay, it's in position - I don't know man, this seems crazy
- it will be fun! Come on... I spent all morning blowing that thing up
- You should be all right - Should be?!
- Yeah! - Oh...
Are you ready?
Go!!
- Ahh...!! -Whoah!
Let's do that again!
It's not a favor... It's like a great investment for me man
A car detailer, there's non around It's going to be a gold mine
I don't want to take your money, I dont...
You're not taking my money you're making me more
- I want in okay? I know the owner of the Celtics
and I can get us that account
Those guys all drive Bentley's and Ferrari's
- How do you know the owner of the Celtics?
Hey, I'm the leader of his Daughter's GIrl Scout troop
Now if he wants to make sure she gets her cookie biz bash
He will give us that account
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
You ready to have some fun?
Yeah, hit it!
Okay...
It's not going you gotta get it in...high
Whoo!!
You really want to do this Bailey?
My five against your five
Oh boy, look at this
I see the boys stayed in shape huh?
- Robidoe, good to see you - Lenny...
If you're looking at me...I don't know?
Look fella's, we just want to eat some watermelon and relax, if youre all right with that?
Oh no, it's not all right, you're not going to weasel out of this one Feder
Wiley snuck out of intensive care to see you finally get some justice
Yo! you best be getting the ball in, Feder!
Hey Wiley... Was the field goal good?
Yeah, first time I ever heard that one
Okay, sorry man
Oh, do you want me to get something off the top shelf?
heard that one a lot too
Seriously though Dickie let us just hang out with our families all right?
we want to relax
Yeah, they're afraid of us! that's what it is
We're afraid you might eat the ball before we even start the game
Same old Higgins, he can talk the talk, but he can't...
- I forget the rest - Boo Ya!
We got Rob here with the bad foot You can't do it right buddy?
I think if the Buzzer was here... He'd want me to try
I think he'd want us all to try
Was that william Shatner?
All right, let's do this then
it's on!
Game to 21
Whoo!!
Hey, hey...come on - Whoo Hoo!!
('Everyone's a Winner' by Hot Chocolate)
Guys,...look!
Ahh...!
Never could believe the things you do to me I never could believe the way you are
Every day I bless the day That you got through to me
'Cause baby I believe that you're a star
Well, well well if it isn't the other black guy who grew up here
No, no, no...in this town, I'm the black guy and you're the other black guy
No man, in this town I'm the black guy When white people see me coming
in their store, they get scared
When white people see me coming in their store they run, okay?
- Wow... - Yeah, these are my white people...
go get your own white people - You're crazy
Lucky shot
Defence...defence...defence
In your face!
Hey guys...Motion 78
Baby, it's amazing just how wonderful it is How the things we like to do are just the same
Everyone's a winner baby that's true Making love to you is such a thrill
Everyone's a winner, baby, that's no lie You never fail to satisfy (satisfy)
Show me what you got Say what..?
Hey "Y"...where's "M.C.A"?
Oh...he he
What the hell is that? Sounds like owls having sex
- Robidoe, heads up! - Ahh...!
Boo Ya!
You made me spill my freaking beer!
Honey, why does everything always have to be about you?
Why do you always have to be such a dink?
I can't do this anymore I can't even breathe
I haven't felt my legs since the second quarter
Hey, do you want to fake injuries? - You got it
Ohh!!
Oh, my God...I'm out of this game - Oh!...I can't go on
- I got a slippery disc...oh it just slipped out - Oh, hon...
I'm done, I'm done
This is ridiculous, somebody's going to have a heart attack
What are you doing?
That's it? - Darth Vader, let's go...sit down
Ooh is that a cannoli fron Vergillio's?
Did you seriously just take your daughter's cannoli?
from Vergillio's, leave me alone
Love tough Daddy!
What do you say we bring my son and your son into this?
Done!
- Greggie - Me?...uh...
Come on baby, you can do this!
Hey Bailey?
And hey, somebody fill up that jug with some Boss water, for the Hollywood kid
It's Voss, with a "V" - Ooh Hoo...
Hey, would you mind if I touched your belly?
I love babies I love to feel them kick
Yeah, go ahead - Oh, thank you
That's not my baby, that's my boob
Oh, I like to feel of those too - Hey!
Hey, no harm done
All right, 16 to 16 - Half court two on two...let's go
Hey, keep your feet off the line this time please
- All right - 19 - 16, let's go
Oh yes! it's raining threes on Hollywood
Your foot was on the line! your foot was on the line!
It ain't raining threes...It's drizzling twos
It's all right, it's all right...good shot
That wasn't a three, his foot was on the line!
Next basket wins, let's go
Pump it Lenny!
Bank's open Dad!
He never misses that shot
Down goes Hollywood, down goes Hollywood Down goes Hollywood!
Sorry Dad, we'll crush the next year I'll work on my left when we get back to L.A.
That's my boy, come here
I love you
('Better Things' by The Kinks)
Here's wishing you the bluest sky And hoping something better comes tomorrow
Hey Lenny, I thought you never missed a bank shot
Yeah, well I just thought the Bailey's needed to learn how to win every once in a while
and the Feder's needed to learn how to lose
- That was nice - Yeah
Here's hoping all the days ahead Won't be as bitter as the ones behind you
Lenny, hey man...I know you're bummed about losing the game for us today
And you're drunk?
No!...Yes
Hey man, there's one thing they'll never beat us at
What's this?
- Arrow roulette baby! - Yeah, yeah
We are good at that
- All right everybody! - What are you doing?
- Last one to stay in wins! - No, no, no!!
Start running kids!
I hope tomorrow you'll find better things I know tomorrow you'll find better things
I hope tomorrow you'll find better things - A little help here, take me with you
Seriously?...you're going to leave me?
No...!
Ahh...! Haoww!!
We win again!
From kambakhat_ishq2 sub, fixed the timing to 2sec delay so it can sync nicely with Grown.Ups.2010.DVDRip.XviD-ExtraTorrentRG by me petala Not exactly funny movie but at least it makes us smile a bit...